MY Rollercoaster Ride

THIS IS THE CURRENT ME!




Hey all. It's been a while since I've written and I'm sorry. My emotions have been haywire lately and I've taken some much needed time to "think" about my NEW LIFE. Since having my guts re-arranged, I've had no problems adjusting to the new me. Eating, drinking, vitamins, etc... It's all been pretty easy for me. Until the last couple of weeks... Here's some things that have been fretting over!



One: I didn't go through any kind of sad, feel sorry for me, post-op buyers remorse or anything like that. I was so excited at how the weight was falling off that I remained happy and content with everything I had done. The work up to getting the surgery was the hardest part. My mom and I found a sidewalk sale of clothes one day right before I was scheduled to have surgery. I looked and found clothes for $1, $2, $3, etc... But, I couldn't buy them. You see, for me I just could not imagine myself thinner. I have always seen myself as "fat" (that's the "F" word in my house!) and couldn't justify buying these clothes not knowing for certain that I'd be THAT size. So, I put them all back. My mom assured me that I would lose the weight and it wouldn't be long before I was in these smaller sizes. I couldn't do it though. That was the first hurdle I jumped.



Two: After getting past being able to buy clothes for myself that were smaller, I experienced some other emotions. People are starting to notice the changes. They don't necessarily notice that I've lost weight, but that something has changed. Lots of them asked, "Did you do something different with your hair?" or "Have you been tanning or do something different with your make-up?" I'd simply say no and change the subject. When the first person said, "WOW! You look great! How much weight have you lost?" My face turned beat red and I started to sweat! I could feel my heart pounding in my chest! I'd never been given attention or been complimented on my looks because I've always been challenged with being over weight. I had to say the amount of pounds and then the next question comes, "How did you do it?" Now, this is where it got REALLY hard for me. I didn't want to be open with my RNY surgery. I kept it a secret from just about everyone in my life. My dad, step-mom, aunt, grandma, cousins, etc... I didn't want anyone to know except my best friends, mom and co-worker/boss. That's it. So, I'd simply answer, "Proportions, exercise and making the right food choices." That IS the truth. And that's what I still say to this day. I just can't tell people that I've had the surgery! How is it that I can sit here online and blog about my adventures with the surgery, but in person, I just CANNOT tell people what I've done?! Doesn't make sense and I am having a hard time accepting that of myself. Why should it be so hard? Is it because I'm afraid people will continue to judge me for having the surgery? Will people think less of my accomplishments because they think I took the "EASY WAY OUT?" GRRRR! It's NOT easy no matter what anyone says! Am I or am I not ready to be open with what I've done?? I can't answer that...



THREE: This is a psychological surgery (in my personal opinion). Being in the honeymoon stage for 7 months now, I need to remember that they operated on my stomach/intestines, not my head. I and only I have to stay on track and make the right decisions. I've noticed that no matter what I've eaten these last 7 months, I've lost weight. It WON'T stay like this. I have to remember to make the right choices. This surgery is a tool to help and WILL work if you make the right choices with what you eat. MAKE sure to get all of your protein intake and get on a exercise regimine. It's an absolute MUST to work out and continue to eat healthy. Find the foods that are loaded with protein and all your good vitamins that you enjoy eating. There are SO many great recipes out there that have been life saving for me and kept me away from eating the "wrong thing". Stay on track! Get in touch with fellow WLS patients and support groups. Do a recipe exchange or set up a pot luck with a bunch of yummy, post-op friendly dishes.



Check out these websites:

http://www.locarbdiner.com/

http://www.dietfacts.com/

http://www.whfoods.org/foodstoc.php

http://bariatrictv.com/



Remember, protein first with veggies & fruit! You can make yummy deserts with protein powders too. Be creative! If anyone has any recipes they'd like to share, I'm ALL ears!



Keep your focus on your own journey!