Anxiety is taking over...

Well this week has been a rough one for me. I have been a basket of nerves and on the verge of tears every day. For some reason or another my anxiety has been on over-drive. What am I so DANG axious about?! I'm questioning the heck out of everything in my life. I feel like I'm not prepared for what's about to happen. However, I can't seem to figure out what that "something" is. I'm 1 month away from being 1yr post-op and feel like I'm running out of time. Out of time for what? I don't know. I'm questioning that question too! You see, I'm so confused that I can't even get anything straight in my head. I feel like there's so much more I need to do. I've come this far with my weight loss and what have I accomplished...??? Now I find myself asking what is it that I want to accomplish? My life has been a whirlwind the last year focusing solely on losing weight, making the right choices and becoming the "new" me. Does one ever really change? Am I a different person or just a smaller person with a better view of health?

Fall is the best time of the year for me. I absolutely LOVE this time. Not specifically because of the holidays (although that's partially it), but the weather, the early dark nights, the crisp mornings, the smells, etc... Because of all of my anxiety, I find myself not enjoying this time. What is wrong with me?! AGGGHHHH!! How do I snap out of it?

I have so much to be thankful for and I'm being selfish by wanting more or perhaps "pushing aside" what is so grand in my life. I see the problem, but am at a loss with how to deal with it or get past it. How to become a better me is what I'm striving for. I suppose I'm striving too hard and it's not working in my favor. I don't want to be a failure. Specifically with my weight loss. I MUST keep going...